There are days when it seems like everything is going wrong. You can’t seem to catch a break from work, home or personal responsibilities, and everything and everyone seems to be out to get you. It’s times like these when some positive thinking exercises can really come in handy. They’ll help you deal with and resolve the every day stresses and problems that affect your life. Here are 100 that we’ve compiled to help you change your thoughts from doom and gloom to a happier and more productive positive outlook.

General

Practice these simple exercises and suggestions to keep your thoughts on the positive side.

1. Only use positive words when talking. If you’re constantly telling yourself “I can’t” you may convince yourself that’s the truth. Replace these negative words with positive ones instead. Tell yourself you will do your best or that you will try your hardest instead.
2. Push out all feelings that aren’t positive. Don’t let negative thoughts and feelings overwhelm you when you’re feeling down. Even if it’s only for a few hours a day, push your negativity aside and only focus on the good things in your life.
3. Use words that evoke strength and success. Try filling your thoughts with words that make you feel strong, happy and in control of your life. Make a concentrated effort to focus on these words rather than those that make you feel like you are failing or incompetent.
4. Practice positive affirmation. One of the most popular positive thinking exercises is positive affirmation. This means you repeat a positive phrase to yourself on a regular basis like “I deserve to be happy” or “I am worthy of love”. Believing that these things are true, and reminding yourself of it can help give you a more positive outlook on life.
5. Direct your thoughts. This technique, used by psychotherapists, can help you to control your thoughts when you start to feel down or anxious. Create a happy thought, a positive image, or give yourself positive feedback to keep bad feelings in check.
6. Believe you will succeed. There is nothing like believing in yourself to create a successful reality. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and believe that you will succeed at fulfilling your goals.
7. Analyze what went wrong. Thinking positively doesn’t mean denying that there is anything wrong. Instead, give yourself some time to think about the things that led up to your current situation so you can avoid future mistakes and look toward a more positive tomorrow.
8. Give yourself credit. Often when we feel frustrated or upset we only concentrate on the bad things or the mistakes we’ve made instead of giving ourselves credit for what we do right. Allow yourself to feel confident about the things you have accomplished, even if you’ve messed up in other areas.
9. Forgive yourself. Constantly beating yourself up about things that have gone wrong won’t change them. Tell yourself that you’re forgiven for your mistakes and allow yourself to move on.
10. Learn from the past. The past is behind you and no matter how badly things went there is nothing you can do to change them. Whenever you feel negative thoughts about the past come up, replace them with positive thoughts about the future.
11. Remember things could be worse. No matter how bad things get remember that they could be worse and be grateful for all the good things that are in your life, even when it seems there’s more bad than good.
12. Think of it as an opportunity. Sometimes even the seemingly negative things in our lives present us with opportunities we wouldn’t have been strong enough to pursue otherwise. Maybe losing your job is just the chance you need to start your own business or go back to school.
13. Come up with ideas of how to turn negative thoughts into positive ones. If you find yourself thinking you should have done this or that differently, try changing your thoughts around. Instead give yourself credit for what you did do, remember that you are not perfect or that you can do better next time.
14. Work on visualization. Picturing what you want to accomplish or the person you’d like to be can be a great motivator to getting you there and helping you feel more positive about the distance you have to go yet.
15. Think of ways to turn visualization into action. The next natural step of this is to think of just how you’re going to get to where you see yourself. Just picturing it isn’t going to make it happen, so create a plan to take it one step at a time until you’ve made it.
16. Practice self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis brings about a highly conscious state of mind that is willing to follow instructions. This means you’ll be more open to positive suggestions that will allow you to be happier and hopefully healthier in your life.
17. List the reasons you will get what you want. If you are having trouble believing that you’ll get that big promotion or that your book will get published try sitting down and coming up with a list of reasons that you will get what you want rather than focusing on the reasons you might not.

At Work

Work can be a stressful place but use these techniques and ideas to keep yourself looking on the bright side.

1. Be constructive. Giving yourself cruel and unwarranted criticisms will not only put you in a bad mood it surely won’t help you improve either. Be constructive in your criticisms of yourself so you can grow and learn.
2. Visualize a successful outcome. Sometimes it can be helpful to picture yourself completing a project successfully or getting the promotion you desire. This can encourage you and make you feel better about the situation.
3. Sit up straight. Slouching down in your chair isn’t going to make you feel any better about anything that’s bothering you. Sit up straight in your chair and see if it improves your thinking.
4. Surround yourself with positive images. Make your desk your own private happy getaway. Put up pictures of things that make you happy or that remind you of your goals to create a calming and positive environment.
5. Relax and let things happen. Sometimes the best way to deal with problems is to relax and let them take their course. Things can often appear to be a bigger deal than they really are and reminding yourself of this can help you to relax and not feel so stressed.
6. See it from another point of view. Change your pattern of thought by trying to see things from another point of view, whether it’s your coworkers, your bosses or just someone impartial. It can help you see where you went wrong and understand why others might be upset.
7. Keep track of your thoughts.When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, try jotting them down. You may find a pattern and figure out some ways to reverse how you’re seeing yourself or negative situations.
8. Don’t dwell. So you made a mistake. It happens to everyone. Don’t dwell on your mistakes. Make peace with yourself and move on to other projects.
9. Stop being your own worst critic. There’s no one else who knows just how to make you feel terrible like you can. Lay off on the harsh criticism and think good things about yourself when you feel you’re at your worst.
10. Look at yourself rationally. It’s easy to get down on yourself for messing up at work, even on the little things. But try taking a step back and looking at the situation. You may find that what you thought was a big deal really doesn’t matter that much.
11. Believe in yourself. Want that promotion? Hoping to get that huge account? Believe that you can do it and it just might come true.
12. Avoid negative coworkers. Nothing can ruin a positive attitude like coworkers who bring out the negatives in everything. Avoid talking to those you know will only make you feel worse.
13. Truly believe you are the best at your job. If you’re constantly looking for failures in your work and put on a sour attitude you’re much more likely to actually be putting in a poor performance. If you think that you’re good at your job you’re much more likely to put in the effort and performance that will make you good.
14. Look for opportunity. In every failure there’s an opportunity to improve. Spend time thinking of ways you can turn your setbacks at work into ways you can get ahead in the future.

Family and Personal Life

Whether you’re struggling with keeping a positive attitude about yourself or about issues within your family, try these positive thinking techniques.

1. Associate yourself with those who think positively. Positivity is contagious, so find friends and family members who look on the bright side to surround yourself with.
2. Be glad your life isn’t boring. If nothing good or bad ever happened to you, likely you’d start to get pretty bored with your life. Take everything that is coming to you as a challenge and a way to keep yourself busy and interested in your life.
3. Look at the big picture. Is that parking ticket you got a bummer? Of course. Will you still feel bad about it later this week? This month? Learn to let go of the things that don’t really matter.
4. Let go of the past. It does not determine your future so why focus on it? If you feel yourself ruminating on the past make a conscious effort to take your thoughts in another direction.
5. Benefit from the attitudes of others. Have a friend that always knows just what to say to make you feel like things will be alright? Take comfort in those around you that have positive attitudes and can make you feel better about anything going on in your life.
6. Develop a personal mantra. No matter what you choose to repeat to yourself, make your mantra words you want to live by each and every day that can remind you to be positive and take whatever life has to offer.
7. Find someone to share with. Knowing you are not alone can be a healing experience. Share your negative feelings with a friend, a family member or a even a mental health professional. You’ll likely feel better after you’ve gotten things off your chest and had someone to sound off with.
8. Do something nice. Want to feel better? Try doing something nice for someone you care about. You’ll get to feel good for being nice and you just might make someone else’s day.
9. Indulge yourself. One way to remind yourself of the positive things that life has to offer is to indulge yourself in whatever it is you love. Whether it’s a box of chocolates, a massage or a new video game, give yourself a break to relax.
10. Remind yourself of your blessings. Whether you feel blessed by your family, your friends or even that you just have food to eat each day remind yourself of these things, however small you may feel they may be.
11. Say thank you. Most of us have a lot to feel grateful for that we simply take for granted. Thank those in your life that make it better and happier to get a positivity boost for yourself as well.
12. Come up with positive things about those you love. Making someone else feel good about themselves can strengthen relationships and give you a positive thought to concentrate on, instead of the negative.
13. Avoid laying blame. So the water bill didn’t get paid. You could get mad and start a fight with your spouse or roommate. Or, you could let it go, take it in stride and work together to remedy the situation.
14. Be playful. There’s nothing to lift your mood and change your thinking like taking some time to embrace playfulness and your inner child.

Fun and Relaxation

Don’t spend your free time feeling bad about things that have happened. Change your thoughts from the bad to the good with these helpful tips.

1. Read an inspiring book. If you’re having trouble finding something inspiring about your life right now try getting inspired by the life of someone else by reading a book meant to inspire and uplift.
2. Watch your favorite sappy movie. Get a quick pick me up by watching your favorite movie or just your favorite scenes. You’ll get a smile or a laugh and forget whatever was getting you down.
3. Take a break from the news. The news is often filled with all kinds of depressing information. If you’re already in a bad mood take a night off from the news and do something that you find enjoyable instead.
4. Engage in physical activity. Working out releases chemicals that give you a mood lift. Take a jog, play a sport or just walk around the block to improve your outlook.
5. Listen to something upbeat. Music can be a great mood enhancer. Whether you’re driving in your car or hanging out at home, crank up the tunes with something that makes you feel happy.
6. Monitor your stream of consciousness.When you’re just sitting and thinking do negative thoughts overtake everything else? Monitor where your mind goes when it’s at rest and learn to redirect your thoughts towards happier memories.
7. Engage in activities that work towards your goals. If you’re trying to lose weight don’t spend the weekend baking cookies that will only tempt you towards falling off the low-cal wagon. Instead, pump yourself up by going on a hike, playing tennis with a friend or just getting active.
8. Concentrate on breathing. When things just seem to be too much to deal with, try concentrating on simply breathing. It will relax you, eliminate some of your anxiety and allow you to focus on more positive elements in your life.
9. Focus on all the fun in your life. While you might spend 40 hours a week slaving away behind a desk you likely have some things in your life that are fun and enjoyable as well. Focus on these things and spend time thinking of new and exciting ways to have fun when you’re feeling down.
10. Explore the world around you. Distract yourself from your negative feelings by embracing your sense of adventure. Check out a part of town you have never been to, take a day trip to a local winery, or just spend time reliving the happy memories from things around your house.
11. Get excited. Even if there are a million things you’re dreading doing come Monday try to find one thing that you’re excited about. Even that one thing can have a big impact on how you feel and how you approach your day.
12. Find something to laugh about. If you don’t have anything in your day that’s been particularly funny, think about a memory that never fails to make you laugh. It’s hard to be negative when you’re laughing and smiling.
13. Count down to total relaxation. All of us have been so upset or frustrated at some point that we just feel like we want to explode. If you feel yourself reaching this point, stop, and start counting. For an additional bonus, try relaxing each body part in turn as you count so you end up completely relaxed and ready to think logically.
14. Meditate. The benefits of meditation are many, and one of them can be encouraging positive thinking. By clearing your mind and relaxing you can push out a large amount of negativity that may be troubling you.
15. Think of 100 things you enjoy doing. Feeling like your life is one big, horrible sinkhole at the moment? Sit yourself down and try to come up with a list of things that you enjoy doing. Even small things like taking a hot shower or enjoying a walk in the snow can make you realize that your life isn’t so bad after all.
16. Create something. Negativity inspires a lot of destructive feelings and one way to counter that is by working to create something instead. Paint or draw, sew some new curtains, build a model or even put together a puzzle.
17. Imagine yourself in a happy place. Visualization can be a powerful tool and you can use it to remove yourself from whatever situation you feel unhappy in to one that makes you smile. Just close your eyes and imagine whatever makes you feel best.

Facing Challenges

Everyone has to face challenges in their lives from time to time. Whether they’re difficult personal goals to meet or unexpected problems these tips can help you make it through with a smile on your face.

1. Fake it till you make it. One way to deal with a challenge is to create a feeling of confidence and happiness in yourself. At first this feeling might not be real, but over time you’ll start to actually feel happier and maybe even closer to your goal.
2. Believe you will get well. Those facing illnesses can feel a sense of hopelessness and fear. These feelings aren’t going to help anything. Concentrate on getting better and living each moment as if you will soon be well.
3. Understand the obstacles are there to challenge you. Along your path to success you’re going to encounter some roadblocks. Understand that these aren’t necessarily there to stop you from doing what you want, just to ensure that you truly want it.
4. Picture yourself at the weight you want to be. Losing weight can be a huge challenge, even for the most determined. Picturing yourself at the weight you want to be can be a great motivator to getting you on the track to success.
5. Start small. Working at a huge goal all at once can be overwhelming and sometimes discouraging. Take things one step at a time and chip away at your ultimate goal until you get there.
6. Don’t let yourself quit. Giving up is usually taking the easy way out of a situation. No matter how negative you’re feeling, never let yourself quit pursuing something you truly want. You’ll thank yourself in the long run if you don’t give up.
7. Don’t expect change to be easy. No one ever promised that making a big change in your life would be easy or that overcoming obstacles would be a walk in the park. It’s not supposed to be. Don’t let opposition let you lose your confidence and adapt a negative attitude.
8. Find the bright side. Every cloud has a silver lining and you just need to find yours. Try finding the bright spot amidst all the turmoil surrounding a situation and focus on that to get you through.
9. Understand that the situation is not forever. Even if you’re dealing with the grief of a lost loved one, remember that in time you will feel better. You may always feel sad about a loss, but it will only get easier as time goes on. Take it day by day and keep in mind the transience of any bad situation.
10. Truly believe you will succeed. If you want an extra edge on success, believe that you will be successful. This may give you the confidence and assurance you need to make the difference.
11. Face up to change. The world is constantly changing and you and those around you are changing as well. Make peace with these changes and understand they don’t always mean the end of happiness just because they’re something different.
12. Make a conscious decision to be resilient.In life you can either let a challenge break you down and make you see the world in a negative light or you can draw on strength you didn’t even known you had and rise above it. Choose the latter– it’s never too late.
13. Take it head on. Sometimes the best way to deal with negative things in your life is to take them head on. Reaching a resolution or at least working towards one will likely make you feel better about just about any situation.
14. Focus on finding a solution. Don’t wallow in your problems. Instead, work towards finding a solution and getting them resolved. You’ll be able to feel proactive and feel in control of your life.
15. Don’t let loss stop you. When pursuing any goal there are bound to be setbacks along the way. Don’t let these stop you from heading towards your ultimate goal.
16. Keep yourself on track. It’s easy to be weak and get off track to whatever goal you’re pursuing because it’s easier right now. Don’t let weakness get the best of you– you’ll only feel worse later. Provide yourself with reminders to stay in a positive mind set and stay with the program.

Daily Attitude

If you really want to change your outlook on life, try using these techniques to change how you deal with problems and see the world.

1. See the beauty in everything. Even if you’re in the worst mood, taking the time to look at all the beautiful things that surround you in the world can provide an instant and insightful way to lift your spirits.
2. Realize that your thoughts do not own you. Stop your negative thoughts in their tracks by realizing that you’re in charge of what you think, not the other way around.
3. Take time to figure out what you really want. When you feel yourself feeling negative about things that you haven’t accomplished, take time to think if you really want those things. Finding out what is really important to you can help eliminate bad feelings over things that you don’t truly want.
4. Accept the good things. Sometimes we get so caught up in the bad stuff coming our way that we forget to appreciate the good things. Take a minute to sit down and think of all the positive things that happened in your day, no matter how small.
5. Get excited about all the possibilities that lay ahead. Even in the midst of the biggest disasters there are a multitude of possibilities that await you to make changes or take on the world tomorrow.
6. Believe the world is a good place. If you look at the world and only seem doom and gloom laid out in front of you you’re not doing yourself any favors. Believe the world is a good place and you’re likely to find many more ways good things can come your way.
7. Stop making excuses. There are always a million excuses for any person not to do something even if that something can make them feel happier. Stop putting up obstacles to your happiness and ditch those lame excuses when you hear yourself making them.
8. Don’t play the victim. Bad things happen to everyone from time to time. Pitying yourself and wanting others to feel sorry for you isn’t going to make things better. Pick yourself up and start working towards a happier future.
9. Don’t place your future in someone else’s hands. Your future is yours alone to shape. Remember this and take control of where you’re going in life.
10. Create realistic goals. Of course you’re going to feel frustrated if you make your goals so unattainable that you can’t reach them no matter how hard you work. Create smaller or more realistic goals so you can feel accomplished instead of defeated each day.
11. Choose joy. Every day when you wake up you make the choice whether to be happy or miserable. Make the choice to be happy and you’ll live a much more joyful life.
12. Believe you can change. Everyone has qualities they don’t like about themselves and that sometimes make them feel bad about themselves. Believe you can change these things and you’ll start to see little ways that you can.
13. Start immediately. Want to make a positive change in your life? Do it now. Putting it off just gives you time to make excuses so get started as soon as possible.
14. Believe you deserve good things. If you don’t truly believe that you deserve good things in your life you likely aren’t going to encounter many. Believe that you are worthy for good fortune to come your way and it just might.
15. Stop letting negative thoughts control you. Negativity can be an overwhelming emotion, one that can make you feel out of control and unhappy in every aspect of your life. Put a stopper on these negative thoughts and take control of how you’re feeling.
16. Smile. Sometimes all it takes to feel good is to put a smile on your face. Practice putting on a happy face even when you just feel so-so.
17. Take control of your decisions. You’re the boss of what is going on in your life, even when you feel like you don’t have a choice. Take back control of your decisions and make the choice to be happier and more positive.
18. Change your vibe. Some people think that you get back what you put out, so stop putting out bad energy and change to a more positive outlook. Whether it truly works or not doesn’t matter, you’ll feel better either way.
19. Keep the bad out. You’re in control of the good and bad you choose to let into your life. When you can, limit the amount of negative things you let into your life, including your thoughts.
20. Make positive thinking a habit. Don’t just practice thinking positively when you’re feeling down. Make it an everyday occurrence whether you’re in a good mood or bad.
21. Decide why you want what you want. If you’re feeling upset because you feel like you aren’t achieving the things you want in life, take a moment to sit back and figure out the reasons you actually want those things. You may find you’re not as attached to them as you think.
22. Look at things with fresh eyes. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to sleep on a problem so you can look at it the next day when you’re not feeling so emotional.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=whTwjG4ZIJg

————————————————--

It is not only the physical stature that matters but also the strength of your mind and the willingness in your soul that can lead to continuous development of your career and personal abilities. In every human being are present circles of energy known as chakras which have a great involvement in the determination of your personality. These chakras cab be said to be the links between your inner and outer self.

These points in your body help you to channelize your inner strengths into actual performance to help you attain the results you want. But even your inner strength can form rust if there is no regular development or timely refreshment and clearing chakras is a process that renovates your energies to bring out a new you.

Since each chakra in our body has relevance with various aspects we need to understand and ensure that all of them are paid adequate attention, the seven chakras in your body lie between the bottom of your spine and the head.

While you are clearing the chakras you get away the negativity from the body and bring in positive energy, stabilizing it in the body.

Certain moves in the clockwise direction help to get in the positive energies while opposite movements are required in order to get rid of the negativity.

On most occasions people can feel pain at various points however it should not be concerning as it only proves that energy flows in and out.

It is believed that the circles or the chakras in your body derive energy from the planets and the heavenly bodies and allow the human mind, body and soul to function in the right direction.

Once your chakras are cleared you will find a newer self in front of you, while many practise this on a regular basis, the intervals do vary as per the need and intent of individuals.

It is often seen that once you have performed the act of clearing chakras, your response to situations not only becomes quicker and wiser but you also tend to come up better options and ideas. You will realise that people would come in contact with a new dimension of your nature and character.

The process of clearing chakras can start by paying attention to 1-2 of the circles of energy in your body and in the process try to get all your chakras cleared as only then you will be able to enjoy the advantage of your energies. People would be able to experience peace of mind as well as they tend to be relaxed.

In order to understand which chakra you need to clear you will not need to know rocket science but just feel the reactions of your body parts and then work on the chakra it relates to.

The amount of competition in all fields today is tremendous and you have to be very agile. In case you do not have the apt approach or there is an imbalance of the energies in your body, the execution of your skills and talents into effective results would be very difficult.

The spiritual energy has a potential role to play in the success of an individual in all fields and that has been realised by people practising this art. Also efforts are being made to understand the science of chakras in a better way.

The amount of satisfaction and accomplishments that the functioning chakras bring into your life is enormous, it is just the question of how effectively you practise it to achieve a refreshed source of energy.

When something interferes with your achievement of a goal or desire, the developing frustration results in a feeling of tension and hostility. That feeling is referred to as anger.

Example 1, Lucille wanted to clean the kitchen but her husband insisted that she rest instead. Lucille felt she was being treated like a child, viewed her husband’s attitude as condescending, and became very angry.

Example 2, Susan just got a call from her doctor’s office cancelling her appointment for the next day. Susan had been anxiously awaiting the day of the appointment and became angry about the unexpected change.

Example 3, George watched from the sideline as his two roommates played tennis. George felt angry because his physical limitations prevented him from participating.

Example 4, John’s mother told him he would be more healthy if he took better care of himself. The comment made John angry.

What are three types of anger?

Anger In: This is feeling angry but directing it toward oneself, or inwardly directed anger. It is depression or suppressed hostility.

Anger Out: This is feeling angry and directing it toward other persons or things, or outwardly directed anger. It is the showing of repressed hostility and resentment.

Controlling Anger

There are techniques which can help you control your thoughts and in turn control your anger.

Imagery - Get rid of intense, angry feelings by letting your imagination diffuse some of the feelings. Allow yourself to imagine strangling the person who has made you feel angry, without actually carrying out the action. Imagery is a safer way for you to vent angry feelings.

Thought stopping – Do not allow the thoughts that are making you angry to continue. Shut down those thoughts by switching your concentration to something you find pleasant and enjoyable. By diverting your attention you help the anger to dissipate.

Change your expectations – People often get angry when their expectations are not met.

Modifying your expectations can help you cope with anger. If you can afford more flexibility there is less chance for a situation to lead to anger.

Develop more understanding – Being aware of why a person behaves a certain way or why a person is saying something will help promote understanding. Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and viewing a situation from their perspective.

Anger Need Not Be Negative

Physiological responses occur in the body when you become angry.

blood pressure increases

breathing and heart rate become more rapid

muscles become tense

Harnessing anger into a productive force in my life will assist my emotional growth.

What are some to take in handling current anger?

Step 1: Relax yourself by using deep, natural breathing and muscle relaxation.

· Take deep breaths and silently repeat the words “relax” until you are able to calm down.

· Do not say or do anything until you are calmed down.

· Avoid words or actions in the “heat” of the moment.

Step 2: Recognize what arouses or provokes your anger:

· Is it a situation, an event, a person?

· Is it real or imagined?

Step 3: Use a rational approach to “rethink,” “reframe,” and reason in your mind what is going on and why you are angry.

· Is this a trigger event bringing up old unresolved anger or resentment in me?

· How what is happening to provoke my anger a product of my past?

· What is really getting me angry?

· Maybe this person provoking my anger is having a bad day or needs more of my understanding.

· How am I feeling about this?

· What needs to be changed here?

· What alternatives could I use to get the best results in handling this situation?

Step 4: Once you have a clearer” idea of what is going on, take steps to change the situation that is provoking the anger.

· Use “I” statements. “I feel angry when you Y”

· Clarify your feelings about the situation.

· Point out issues needing clarity.

· Relate to the person how what is happening now is triggering feelings from your past.

· Identify the unresolved anger, resentment, hostility, or depression and work on it.

· Inject some humour into the situation to defuse the anger or hostility.

Did you know there were 12 types of anger?

Anger, which is often an emotion linked to depression, can be the beginning of deeper emotions, such as rage or violence. Therefore, it is important to control your anger, lest it should control you.

The best method to control your anger is to gain a better understanding of it. Anger can actually be categorised into different types -

BEHAVIOURAL ANGER is all about cruelty and physicality – it usually involves physical attacks against a target, typically a person.

Conversely, VERBAL ANGER is not based on physical violence. Instead it typically involves stinging oratory and insults. Making false claims about someone could also be construed as verbal anger.

PASSIVE ANGER is usually employed by people with avoiding personalities. Instead of being upfront about their anger they will be surreptitious instead, utilising mockery and sarcasm to express their displeasure.

SELF-INFLICTED ANGER requires that the sufferer punish themselves. This often involves self harm, though typically this is not through extreme, life threatening measures. More common is the abuse of food – either over- or under- eating.

Someone with CHRONIC ANGER is, simply, angry all the time. They may be angry at themselves, their immediate surroundings, the world in general or all of those at the same time. It is usual for people suffering with chronic anger to have no specific reason for feeling the way that they do.

JUDGEMENTAL ANGER causes someone to put others down by belittling them. Commonly, this anger is directed at those closest, such as friends and family.

OVERWHELMED ANGER can normally be linked to stress. The person feels so helpless in dealing with their surroundings that they lash out at anything they hate in their lives.

CONSTRUCTIVE ANGER is born out of a feeling of wanting to change something, to right a wrong. People with constructive anger will often join groups or movements and will lend their voice to them to relieve the anger they are feeling.

RETALIATORY ANGER is probably the most common form and is experienced by people who feel anger directed at them. It is very easy to then feel that same emotion in a reciprocal manner.

PARANOID ANGER comes from feeling that someone wants to take everything you have away from you. It is quite irrational and often stems from feelings of jealousy.

DELIBERATE ANGER can often be attributed to those who like to be in control. They may present a plan or idea in a normal fashion but will be quick to anger should anyone oppose them, looking to use that anger as a way to control the dissenter.

Regards…

Muhammad Naveed Rahmat

Email: naveed.rahmat@gmail.com

Many job seekers make the mistake of using the same generic unfocused CV to apply for very different positions in different industries. Your CV should to the extent possible be tailored to the specific job you are targeting and should show in a very direct manner skills, qualifications and experiences that directly come to bear on the given job. If you are targeting a number of different jobs, have different CVs for each job type so that your CV can be customized to the unique requirements of each industry. Find out what skills and qualifications to showcase in each CV by looking at the job description, researching the position and industry and talking to people in the industry, then highlight the skills and expertise that make you a perfect match. Employers want to hire people who are focused and specifically interested in their industry and company, so having a generic unfocused CV with a very vague objective statement and skills inventory will fail to capture the employer’s attention or convince them that you are the best fit for the job.

2. You omitted a cover letter

Every CV should be accompanied by a cover letter to personalize your CV and communicate in a precise, specific manner your objectives and the specific value-added you will bring to the job. The cover letter should be short and specific and should leave the employer in no doubt as to your interest in the company and industry and your unique qualifications for the job you are targeting. Cover letters, like the CV, should be tailored to the company and industry and should communicate in no uncertain terms the suitability of the experiences and qualifications listed on your CV to the job at hand as well as your enthusiasm to work for the specific company. A CV sent without a cover letter will lack the ‘personal touch’ and will likely be lost in the fray.

3. Poor follow up on CV

The average employer is inundated with CVs on an ongoing basis and is more likely than not to add your CV to the pile, pending possible future follow-up. To ensure your CV is acted on and does not get buried with the rest, you MUST follow up in a diligent manner. Remember, the purpose of the CV and cover letter is to get an interview so call each employer shortly after you send the CV and communicate you are calling to follow up, ensure receipt and arrange for a face-to-face interview. Prepare a very short ’soft sell’ for the phone conversation to ‘educate’ the employer as to who you are and why you are uniquely suited to the job and ‘excite’ him to want to meet you in person in an interview situation to talk further details.

4. Lack of preparation for the interview

Many candidates make it to the interview stage and disappoint the employer with their obvious lack of preparation for the meeting. Poor preparation includes slovenliness in researching the company, not being up-to-date on industry news, not understanding what the job requirements are and not having answers to common interview questions. You must, must, must enter the interview armed with the maximum amount of knowledge about the company, industry and specific job so you can then tailor your answers specifically and position your skills and past experience in a manner that demonstrates your unique suitability for the position in question and the valuable contributions you can make to the company.

5. Unprofessional attire for interview

First impressions go a long way and you may be hard-pressed undoing the damage if you send out a wrong message with your interview attire. Dressing too casually or completely inappropriately for the interview may communicate a lack of respect for professional norms of conduct as well as an unprofessional non-conformist attitude overall. Always aim to err on the conservative side in your attire with crisp, clean business attire and avoid tight, casual or loud clothes as well as unnecessary accessories and excess make-up for women.

6. Unprofessional behaviour during interview

The interviewer is screening you during the course of the interview for suitability to the job at hand and is assessing you in terms of your ability to conform in a professional way to the requirements of the job and the company culture; any unprofessional conduct will reflect negatively on you and is likely to immediately take you out of the running. This includes any behaviour that shows a lack of respect for the interviewer and professional norms of conduct such as arriving late, arriving unprepared, aggressive or unprofessional body language, being unfamiliar with your CV, treating the interviewer in a condescending or overly familiar manner, talking at length about your personal life and problems and/or obvious exaggerations or outright lies about your work history. It is very helpful to read some literature about body language and interview skills if you are relatively new to the interviewing scene and unfamiliar with the basics.

7. Lack of interest in the company

It is surprising how many jobseekers will make it to the interview stage and then demonstrate a total ambivalence and lack of interest in the company not to mention an obvious failure to research it in detail. Employers want to hire people who will be keen, enthusiastic members of the team and will carry the company banner with pride; the last thing they want are disgruntled employees who are less than enthusiastic about the company’s products and bottom line and will negatively impact the company culture. You must show a familiarity with and interest in the company and ask intelligent, relevant questions, prepared beforehand, that demonstrate you have done your homework and are very excited about joining the team. Any reluctance you have about joining the company should be kept to yourself at this early stage of the process; concentrate your efforts during your interviews on securing the position.

8. Unclear about value-added to company

If you are unconvinced about your value-added to the company, it is less than likely that you will be able to convince the employer. Make sure as you sit in the interview seat that you are intimately aware of the requirements of the position and can directly relate your past work history, aptitudes, qualifications and skills to the requirements of the position. Imagine yourself already on the job and communicate to the employer how you will contribute significantly and in record time to the company’s bottom line and how you will excel in performance and exceed targets and expectations. Make sure to include every skillset and past success in bringing to bear how you will positively impact the company’s performance. If you already see yourself on the job and can mentally apply your past successes and skills inventory to achieving your new targets you are more likely to convince the employer across the table from you of your unique and undisputed suitability for the position.

9. Poor follow up after interview

Many candidates make the mistake of assuming the ball is outside their court following the interview stage and fail to follow-up, thereby losing what was a viable job opportunity. You must follow up! Oftentimes the interviewer has had to travel following an interview, is bogged down with a heavy workload and tight deadlines or is simply waiting for you to follow-up to determine your proactivity, energy level and interest in the job. Immediately after an interview while the questions and answers are fresh in your mind write a thank you letter to the employer which leaves him in no uncertain terms as to your interest in the company and your unique suitability for the job. Reiterate the qualifications and past successes that are immediately applicable to the position and emphasize any points that support your case and add gravitas to your application. If you would like to make up for any important facts that were missed out during the interview process or if you feel there are specific strengths you want to highlight following what your learned during the interview, this is your opportunity. Then follow up on the thank you letter with a phone conversation reiterating your interest in the position and enquiring what the next steps should be.

10. Poor reference checks

Before giving a prospective employer names of references make sure you are very familiar with their professional opinion of you and there will be no unpleasant surprises. Many a successful job application has ground to a halt because of unsatisfactory or outright negative feedback from references at or after the job offer stage. Wherever possible, get the references in writing so that you are intimately aware of the feedback your reference source has on you and there is no margin for error.

Regards…

Muhammad Naveed Rahmat

Email: naveed.rahmat@gmail.com

1. Silence

The silence left by an interviewer is not an invitation to babble or a license to ramble. In fact, it is a calculated tactic used by many a sophisticated employer to make you do precisely that. Avoid breaking the silence and above all don’t lose your cool. Stay casual and relaxed, maintain your friendly demeanor and wait for the employer to break the silence. Remember in an interview the nonverbal cues you give are being observed as closely as your words, tone and diction.

2. Tell Me A Little About Yourself

Stick to business and to those aspects of yourself that specifically related to the job at hand. This is not the time to pretend to enjoy soccer if you don’t know how many people play in a team, who won the last World Cup and what the rules of the game are. Nor is it the time to reveal personal information that has no bearing to the professional setting and might impede your chances of success. This is your chance to really sell yourself and expound on all those character traits, accomplishments and success stories that have a direct bearing on the job. Reassert why you are there and your interest in the position and reaffirm why you are uniquely qualified and suitable for the role at hand. Substantiate your claims with concrete and positive examples from your past experience that reflect on your abilities, aptitudes and values. Show that you understand the requirements of the role and portray yourself in the best light possible to occupy that role by virtue of your goals, interests, strengths, skills and past successes.

3. Tell Me a Story

Trust us, the interviewer is not interested at this specific moment in pop culture, nursery rhymes or the sequel to the latest blockbuster. He is interested in his bottom line and in finding a candidate who can augment that while being a pleasant and welcome member of the team. Stay focused on why you are there and what the interviewer is looking for. Asking a question to get the conversation back on the most relevant professional track is your best course of action. “What would you like to hear about?” may narrow the parameters but then again the interviewer may not be forthcoming. You can then volunteer “Can I tell you about why I am here today and why I truly believe I am uniquely suitable for this specific job” and proceed to reiterate with passion and sincerity why you firmly believe you are unequivocally the best person for the job.

4. Why Should We Hire You?

This question delivered sometimes in a condescending manner may come at a late stage of the interview by which time you thought you’d already expounded on all your virtues or it may be used as a shocker right at the beginning. Either way don’t be discouraged or exasperated. Use it to drive home exactly why you believe you are uniquely and fundamentally and beyond any shade of a doubt qualified for the very specific role being discussed. This is where your homework comes into play and you need to really understand what the employer is looking for in terms of skills, strengths, values, track record and cultural fit. Align your goals and interests with the employer’s and reiterate that you are confident you can not only meet the deliverables and perform the requirements of the role but really excel! Show confidence, enthusiasm and energy without being boastful or arrogant. Above all be sincere. Your sincere and honest interest in the job and faith that you will perform beyond all your expectations will communicate itself to the employer better than any canned superlatives and coined metaphors.

5. What kind of people do you find it difficult to work with?

Every workplace has its unique personalities and character profiles, some less ideal to work with than others. This is not the time to point fingers, generalize, compartmentalize or wax lyrical about your ideal team environment. Show you are tolerant, flexible, easygoing and able to get along with practically anyone and resolve conflicts professionally and productively. Say you understand everyone brings to the table their very own skills, strengths and experiences, that you enjoy the challenge of working with new people and can really appreciate the differences. Emphasize that you are a teamplayer who enjoys interacting with and bouncing ideas off of others and thrives on the feedback and reinforcement, the energy and vitality inherent in effective and collaborative teamwork.

6. How do you handle stress?

Stress is an inevitable part of life and the employer needs to hear you realize that and have already mastered the art of recognizing stress and coping with it effectively. Mention that you take time to really think through a situation before reacting and never allow matters to blow out of proportion or lose your calm. Give an example of a particularly stressful project you worked on and how you managed to reduce the stress level through proper planning, organization time management. Show you have an arsenal of real stress-busting habits too which successfully serve you in ameliorating stress whether they be yoga, running once a week, meditation at night, swimming, meeting up with friends, or some other sport, hobby or activity that shows you positively for the well-rounded person you are.

7. What was your biggest failure?

Obviously this is potentially your opportunity to talk yourself out of the job so be very careful and above all don’t bring up a failure that has any impact or ramifications whatsoever on the job at hand. You may bring up something relatively insignificant that happened very early in your career and turn it into a story of remedial action and great success as directly affects and impacts your potential for contribution to the present job. Demonstrate that you have dramatically learned and grew from that experience. You may mention for instance a formal training program you really wanted to get into that you were not permitted to join and how that forced you to pursue your own learning tangent which actually proved much more rich, fruitful and relevant to your chosen career path. Or talk about an account you lost very early on in your career due to sheer inexperience and how you instantly took remedial action, learned from your mistakes, took the counsel and advice of your boss and mentors and won the account back and have since made them into one of your biggest customers.

8. To what do you attribute your success?

The interviewer probably wants to verify that you really are successful professional at this stage by gauging your sincerity when you respond to this question. He/she is also interested in your value system and character. Mention some of the values you hold most dear to you – honesty, integrity, character, discipline, and mention that you are an energetic, ambitious “doer” who has always been very persistent, organized and disciplined in setting and meeting goals. Don’t be arrogant or over-confident when answering this question or ramble on endlessly as this is also a “likability” question. Remember to attribute some of the success to the wonderful people you have been blessed to work/ learn with – whether it is a unique boss, mentor, teacher, peer or group of people.

9. Describe a situation where you were faced with a problem that had no precedent?

This question probes your problem-solving and analytical skills. How well can you think outside the box, wrap your mind around a particular quandary, get the full measure of it and formulate the means and method to resolve it in an exemplary fashion? This question is especially relevant in the case of start-up companies or divisions, consultancy roles and many positions which require braving uncharted territory and designing new systems and procedures and operating apparatus. You need to show creativity, clarity of thought, confidence in your analytical and problem-solving skills and willingness to take a risk and create your own precedent.

10. How do you deal with difficult customers?

Give an example of a difficult client you had to work with and how you maintained the relationship and made it profitable by really listening to him, respecting his needs, issues and constraints, following-up rigorously, maintaining very high professional standards and not allowing ego to get in the way. Chose an example where you were able to really turn the situation around to everyone’s advantage.

11. What has been your greatest accomplishment?

Choose a significant success story and make sure you position it in terms of how it positively impacts your potential for success in the new role. Give facts and figures to elaborate if possible. You may want to talk about winning the most important account in the industry if that is relevant to the job at hand, about your relationships with clients which have won you an unrivalled track record at client retention, or about exceeding ambitions goals through hard work, perseverance, client follow-up, effective communication and cohesive teamwork. Show how you mobilized resources and gained approvals and how you then carried through to successful implementation and follow-up without losing sight of either the big picture or the details and while effectively negotiating several difficulties on the way.

12. What is your ideal work environment?

Emphasize your flexibility and your ability to be productive, happy and efficient in any number of environments. This is not the time to demand the corner office with the park view or uninterrupted close-door policy. Versatility goes a long way in today’s fluid workplaces and you need to show that you are able to focus on the job at hand and “fit in” seamlessly regardless of extraneous factors be they the physical surroundings, team dynamics or general level of noise and activity in the office. Indicate examples of how you have managed to excel in the past in suboptimal work environments and done so quite happily. Convey that you like the challenge of fitting into a new role and know from your history and track record that you can adapt immediately regardless of the environment.

Regards…..

Muhammad Naveed Rahmat

Email: naveed.rahmat@gmail.com